December Beginnings,
Turning Again, Anew.

"Happiness depends upon ourselves."- Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)

I spent the evening and night of my last day working in Seattle at the lovely home of my lovely friend Barbara, in the company of good friends Daphne and Robie. We ate, laughed and enjoyed the each other's presence. Thank you Barbara.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because people who mind don't matter and people who matter don't mind."- Theodor Seuss Geisel (quote contributed by Linda Jardot)

There is always something to be thankful for, even though it is at times hard to discern. I was blessed on Thanksgiving by my two beautiful daughters coming to my home to visit, laugh and share. For pictures of me and my girls taken by Jay, click on the house at left.

Mike Jardot is my cousin. We spent childhood days playing together with my sister Linda and his brother Dick- his family lived in Indiana so visits were not frequent. Dick died 25 years ago now; we still miss him and I know he wishes the best for all of us. Mike's picture is above at right- he is a math teacher in Kenton, Ohio and a student there did a short video about him for art class. If you click the Super Jardot character at right it will take you there...

Mike's dad, Bernard (Bernie), my dad's brother, my uncle, has been in the hospital with pneumonia. I understand he is getting better- yet another thing to be thankful for this year.

We cannot conquer fate and necessity, yet we can yield to them in such a manner as to be greater than if we could.- Walter Savage Landor

There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.- George Santayana (1863 - 1952), Soliloquies in England, 1922, "War Shrines"

Best Wishes On Your NEW Job DEB!!!

Deb started a new job last month whilst I was in the midst of my own changes... so a belated well wish to her.

Deb is working on the state project to relocate developmentally disabled clients from institutions to appropriate community care placements. They are lucky to have her and her expertise- it is a good match.

Beth Orton has a new CD out called Other Side of Daybreak. I heard some of it on the radio and downloaded a snippit that you can hear by clicking on the lips in the bottom right corner of this page- it is her cover of the Five Stairsteps 1970 song "Ohh Child":

O-o-h child things are gonna get easier
O-o-h child things'll get brighter
O-o-h child things are gonna get easier
O-o-h child things'll get brighter.

Someday yeah, we'll put it together and we'll get it undone
Someday when your head is much lighter
Someday yeah, we'll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun
Someday when the world is much brighter.

O-o-h things are gonna be easier
O-o-h child things'll be brighter
O-o-h child things are gonna be easier
O-o-h child things'll be brighter.

Someday yeah, we'll put it together and we'll get it undone
Someday when your head is much lighter
Someday yeah, we'll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun
Someday when the world is much brighter.

O-o-h child things are gonna get easier
O-o-h child things'll get brighter
O-o-h child things are gonna get easier
O-o-h child things'll get brighter
Right now.

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.- Anonymous

Where have the stories gone?? I spent the last few months driving, and now I have one week under my belt, so to speak, of my new job- it is wonderful! The people are nice, they seem competent and I get off the freeway after only 25 minutes of driving! It is a miracle... maybe now some stories will come.

I write this little piece because I found myself telling it to one of my new co-workers. It was about the ten millionth time I have told it and it appears missing from my pages... so...

When I did discharge planning in the hospitals and as I worked in the community I would often have families and clients who wanted/needed a place to live and receive care. I would give them lists of places and after a while I found that I could send two people out to the same place and one would report that they wouldn't let their dog live there, while the other would say that they loved it. I got so I would even tell clients and their families this, what I had learned, and tell them just to go out, see the places, and pay attention to how they "felt" and go by that.

I have often told co-workers about what I think is a Rod Serling TV episode that I remember from my youth. In it a very sterotypic "hippie" guy is driving and then wakes up in a living room. The furniture is formal and antique, with ornate wood edges and little cushion or softness to it. Other people, mostly elderly, are sitting and reading. Others come in and sing hymms, read aloud from clearly uninteresting books and chatter about what appears to be nothing of import. The hippie is beside himself and, as it turns out, learns that he died and now he is in hell, while his cohorts are in heaven. They are in the same place, it just feels different to him than to them.

At times in this business I work in I find myself and others making decisions "for" others. I try to remember to be careful, because I really don't, even though sometimes it kind of feels like it, walk in the other person's shoes. You know. The thing they say? Something about assuming, something about you, me...

Curious things, habits. People themselves never knew they had them.- Agatha Christie (1890 - 1976)

Christmas is coming our way once again. I have never written a "Christmas Letter" before, but there is a first time for everything... apparently. Click on the Snow Family joke at left for my greetings.


If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)


A site with some nice animated seasonal pictures is at: http://www.geocities.com/abquisto/christmas_animation02.html. They have the site locked so I can't copy the animations... smart move, as they are pretty- enjoy.

"Some day my marsh, dyked and pumped, will lie forgotten under the wheat, just as today and yesterday will lie forgotten under the years."- Aldo Leopold, A Sand County Almanac

I met a woman who told me a story of woe, having had a year of losses. Now, in her mid-80s, she was staring death squarely in the face. "Lot's of people have it hard... my husband and I were always blessed and we wondered when our turn would come and we would not be so lucky." Her daughter had explained her new diagnosis to her. "There isn't nothing they can give you to get rid of it, it just gets worse. I saw that in my daughter's eyes and then she told me. It was hard for her to tell me... later she was afraid she had told me too much, that it was too much for me to know." She was chatty, with so much to tell. We decided that the knowing was hard, but that the knowing also helped, that the longer journeys do best with some preparation, making our way to where today and yesterday lie... under the years.

"We are powerless over our addictions, whether liquor, pills, people, food. We are powerless over the outcome of all events involving us. And we are powerless over the lives of our friends and family members. We are not powerless, however, over our own attitudes, our own behavior, our own self-image, our own determination, our own commitment to life and this simple program."- Hazelend Meditations, Each Day A New Beginning

I have been writing about my daughter Kira on and off since July 2002. I started when she moved in with me while still in the throws of her alcohol addiction, while still a "late stage" alcoholic. Hope crept in that September and slowly was allowed to remain and grow. Sometimes it is so scary to hope, being afraid that the hopes will be dashed and then the pain will be even greater- if that is possible. The pain of watching from 1999, to 2000, to 2001, and until that fall of 2002 cannot be described in mere words. Kira has now been clean and sober 15 months as of 12-11-2003. It is a real reason to celebrate and give thanks. The gratitude is palpable.

It was a tough go for Kira, and also for her family. I am proud of Carrie for the strength, perseverence and patience she has shown- I hope for a smoother life for her and that she can make use of all that she learned in this painful process.

I am proud of Kira for her strength and wisdom- she has made it through to a place so few who have ventured where she has gone have made it to. She has a base that she now can use for the rest of her life- she has knowledge and understanding that has been acquired at a high price. C'est la vie- it is life.

One is happy as a result of one's own efforts, once one knows the necessary ingredients of happiness- simple tastes, a certain degree of courage, self-denial to a point, love of work, and above all, a clear conscience. Happiness is no vague dream, of that I now feel certain.- George Sand

HAPPPINESS TO ALL, good night...

Our "computer guy" at work, Raffi, is a proud new poppa. He and his wife, Silva, wanted to be parents and their wish has come true. He sent the following e-mail to us at work and the attached pictures were so beautiful I wanted to include them on my page...

Here is his announcement:

Hello everyone at mommy's and daddy's work,

I am Anahid Sarafian. I was born on May 18th, 2003 (Would you believe it - on the same day as my parents wedding anniversary) in a country called Armenia, far, far, far away. I just immigrated to the United States. Boy, were those INS lineups tough when I couldn't even stand on my own two little tootsies!

Mommy and daddy tell me that I should be proud to be an American, but most specially a Pacific Northwesterner - with some of the nicest people in the country.

In celebration of my new citizenship and the fact that I will be 7 months old, I'd like to extend an invitation for an Open House. I've persuaded mommy to make lots of goodies and daddy has volunteered to supervise. Since I am underage, I am told that I can't have any alcohol at my party. Just Milk!

Hope to see you,
Anahid

"My husband is still at home. He was blind in one eye and then that degeneration thing made him blind in the other eye... we thought that would be ok since I could still drive. Now I am so sick, and I have to be here. I miss him- he comes to see me a lot, but it is not the same, the touching... I miss the touching so much."

They do their duty. They drive up in their cars, they
chatter brightly and reminisce, but they don't touch me.
They call me mom, mother, grandmother, never Minnie.
- excerpt from Minnie Remembers by Donna Swanson (for full poem click HERE)

CONGRATULATIONS MY DEAR CARRIE!!

Carrie has been working at Target for just a couple of months and now has been promoted. "I'm going to be a Team Leader on the clothing side, specifically the women's section... Women's will be my department, I can move clothing wherever I want to move them, I put up sales signs, I'm there every day I work... I made apparently really good impressions on the hardlines teamleads and I know a couple stuck up for me. Some people who have been there longer were slightly (or not so slightly) miffed by my promotion. To be expected. But they lost some teamleads and needed someone. Anyway, I should be good on money now."

Carrie has always been a good listener, easy to be with and work with, smart and she cares about doing a good job- she is self-motivated, a great person to have working for you. She is moving on further and further into this adult world. I am proud of her. I so much want her to be happy enough as she finds her way.

"My interest in the future is because I am going to spend the rest of my life there."- Charles F. Kettering

"Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas."- Paula Poundstone

"There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad."- Salvador Dali (1904 - 1989)

"No matter how thin you slice it, it's still baloney."- Alfred E Smith

"Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid."- Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856)

"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."- Robin Williams (1951 - )

Last friday morning and then again today I was treated with the most beautiful sunrises in the world. It was crisp and clear outside, the Cascade Mountains incredible with the red light of the sun peaking over their brilliant hats of snow. I had no camera. I searched the internet for pictures of comparable sights, with none matching the awe of these mornings... I have been blessed with this beautiful place I live.

Most of the luxuries and many of the so-called comforts of life are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind.- Henry David Thoreau, Walden

"There are no strangers on Christmas Eve."- Adele Comandini, and Edward Sutherland

And, once again, so it is Christmas. Actually it is Christams Eve- Jay and I have spent the evening together, celebrating our time together. The potato casserole is made, ready to heat up with the green bean casserole as it bakes tomorrow with the ham... Simple things. My girls are coming to visit me and celebrate time together too. Sigh. It is good.

Happy Holidays to all.

I can see that in the midst of death life persists, in the midst of untruth truth persists, in the midst of darkness light persists. Hence I gather that God is Life, Truth, Light, He is Love. He is the supreme Good.- Ghandhi

I check my old friend Craig's site frequently to see what is up with him. He got some nodules in his lungs biopsied on the eve of Christmas Eve to see if they are primary or metastasized growths. Craig’s battles with cancer have colored his time here, and this battle with esophageal cancer has changed the shape of his life.

Craig encouraged me in my web page infancy, and in those early months of 2001 and 2002 I wrote about his heroic battles from time to time. He was a good friend of mine in the ‘70s when we worked at Ypsilanti State Hospital. Then my ex-husband started hanging out with us and they too became friends- and have remained so. Some losses are not so apparent, or predictable.

At any rate, Craig is awaiting the results of his tests so that he can once again try to see where he is going. In the meantime he continues with his web site, music, writing and political activism. Today, 12/26/03 he has a story about the origins of Santa and links to an article that links to the writer/artist’s site. James Bursenos’ site has some nice artwork, so check it out.

A heathen came to Rabbi Hillel and asked him to teach him the entire Torah (Bible) while he is standing on one foot. "What is hateful to you, do not do to another. That is the whole of the Law, all else is commentary."- Rabbi Hillel (called the Babylonian, ca. 60 BCE)

Barbara and I met in Everett today for lunch and holiday greetings. We ate a yummy, yummy cajun meal at Alligator Soul and then piddled around town checking out some shops... a nice time.

As we talked Barbara posed a question that had stumped her and stymied her ability to move on in her quest for knowledge: "Why is the feminine undergarment referred to in plural? Why is it a pair of panties? Or 'hand me my panties'?" She did not think my answer, that it is because there are two leg-holes, was sufficient so I promised to look into it and to ask my resident researcher for input.

When I got home I asked Jay about it and he thought that it was but yet another example of the imperfectness of our language- like the redundancy of "tuna fish". Besides, he added, panty is used as singular too- "that's my panty". Hmmm, no, those are my panties. I tried doing an internet search for panty, which for some reason surprised me with the results it produced- guess I forgot about all that junk e-mail I get...

So, to make this long story short, I do not know why women's undershorts are referred to in plural- even in plural when called undershorts! I did however think back upon an old TV show, a police department sitcom of sorts- I don't remember the name but that actor named Abe was in it and his character was named Fish. Anyway, one of the detective guys had to shoot someone and the person died. I don't remember if he shot a "bad guy" or not, but the concensus on the show was that it was unavoidable. Nonetheless he was upset about it and could not bring himself to go back to work. His supervisor came over to his house to try to help, ending up just telling him that the biggest whale has a small throat, only about the size of a human fist. He said this is remarkable and even hard to fathom, given the huge girth of the animal. Then he asked him if he knew why it was so and the desolate guy said no. He simply replied, "because that's the way it is".

And so, the really important thing for everyone to know is: the semi-annual sale at Victoria's Secret (that I fondly call the "bin" sale) starts on Sunday January 4th- YIKES! Don't miss it.

"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."- Erma Bombeck

A couple of weeks ago Jay and I went to Pickford Cinema, a funky little theatre in an old Bellingham store front. It was the first time we had gone there. There were old theater seats from a variety of venues, and a table in the back with cups and water so that you could have that with your popcorn if you chose to. I liked it.

We saw a movie called The Same River Twice. It was a fascinating look at my age cohort- it was not profound, I did not leave it reeling with insights, but I liked it and recommend its viewing to people currently 45 to 60, provided viewing naked bodies as a fact of life is not offensive to them.

The movie is about a group of people who were young in the '70s and had a movie made about them. The director goes back and checks in on their progress through life. Robb Moss says his movie "attempts a collective, temporal mosaic of their life choices, an intimate depiction of those baby-boomers who took the sixties seriously, and then grew up... showing their bodies as yet unmarked by the lives they will lead their nakedness reflects their young adulthood, a time before worldly ambition, marriages maintained or lost, children, and illness escorted them to middle age." I thought the movie might be sappy, might lead to feelings akin to mid-life crisis. It didn't. It is well-done and shows people living their lives the way we really live our lives, one day at a time, making choice after choice after choice and ending up where we are.

Old age ain't no place for sissies.- Bette Davis

I ran into Sue while out with Barbara on Saturday- what a treat! It's always nice to see friendly faces with kind thoughts spilling from their lips...



"When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn't she behave like a nice man?"- Edith Evans

Most pictures posted on my pages link to somewhere in the cyberworld... try clicking on each of them.

This dimension that exists on your screen too is "real"- we are all linked.

I LIKE THE POETRY OF WALT WHITMAN...
He likes to put...(yes, the three dots...) in his work, just like I do...

The picture at right is Walt Whitman in 1887- by George C. Cox, New York.
Click for WALT WHITMAN poetry page. (Last added to 12/20/03)

CLICK for ongoing writings/quotes from JUDITH VIORST'S book: Necessary Losses

(Last Added to 11/09/03...)

E-mail comments to: thecindyj@hotmail.com or click MAIL TO

Music: Click on the Licking Lips Featuring: Beth Orton "Ooh Child" Page Created December 2003

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