Slowly Moving,
Into Crisper October Air

10/29/06:
I went to my allergy doc this last week because my ears have felt full. The nurse weighed me and then dutifully measured my height. I was 5'3½" in high school and worked my way up to 5'4¾" by my late twenties. Now, it seems, I have continued to grow and am 5'5¼". Who am I to question nature's wisdom in continuing to increase my stature?

We have harvested the apples from our two little dwarf trees and I have been making pies and cobbler— it must be fall! The freezer part of our refrigerator is jam-packed with shredded zucchini, bags of raspberries, some green beans, a couple apple cobblers and one pie. I think we still have enough apples for 4-6 more cobblers or pies. Guess all of those antioxidants in the fruits and veggies make you grow taller in addition to wider… . The pumpkin "pi" picture links to yet another interesting photo of dogs dressed up for Halloween.

The picture to the left is of a beetle bug that greeted us at our front door as we returned from being out and about yesterday evening. It links to BreakTheChain.org and an article about one email I received fairly recently. It was one of those emails intended to look informative so that people would read it, be outraged and send it on in order to spread the underlying message of anger and hatred. I wish these angry people would just go into hiding and enjoy their seething by themselves. Please read the information in the link about this particular email. Anytime you get an email purporting to enlighten you so that you too will share the writer's outrage, you can go to snopes.com or BreakTheChain.org and see if they have any information. I don't remember ever going to check out an email and not finding it there. Why be part of the spreading of misinformation designed to hurt other people? Remember when we grew up and we were told "don't believe everything you read"? Yes, indeed, it is still good advice.

My ears pop in an elevator. As a matter of fact I don't even like being this tall.— Columbo, Swan Song

10/27/06:
I have been reading In Search of Memory by Eric R. Kandel, a book about science's search for the biological basis of memory. Mr. Kandel won the Physiology or Medicine Nobel Prize in 2000. The book is 429 pages long and I have made it only, so far, through page 102. Mr. Kandel tells the story of science's journey to discover how the biological system that supports brain and nervous system functioning and memory works (including complex discussions about how nerves communicate and function). Mr. Kandel colors this history by including his personal story of being a child in Vienna when Hitler took over Austria, marveling at how his neighbors welcomed the Nazis and how they then proceeeded with cruel acts that forced his family to flee to the United States.

Hitler found it relatively easy to march into several countries, not just France:
1938- Austria, Czechoslovakia,
1939- Bohemia, Moravia, western Poland,
1940- Denmark, Norway, Netherlands, Luxembourg, Belgium, France,
1941- Belarus, Ukraine.

"Two years after winning the Nobel Prize, Loewi personally experienced the disdain that the Austrian Nazis had for science and scholarship. The day after Hitler drove into Austria to the cheers of millions of my fellow citizens, Loewi was thrown in jail because he was a Jew." (Page 92)

"How fortunate for brain science throughout the world that England, Australia, New Zealand, and the United States opened their doors to the remarkable scholars of the synapse cast out by Austria and Germany... I am reminded of a story told about Sigmund Freud when he arrived in England and was shown the beautiful house on the outskirts of London, that he was to live in. On seeing the tranquility and civility that his forced emigration had brought him to, he was moved to whisper with typical Viennese irony, 'Heil Hitler!'" (Page 102)

Mr. Kandel has had an interesting life. Perhaps his story contains some lessons for us today about hatred, intolerance, scapegoating, and the devaluing of science. I'll work on finishing the book, see if it has anything to offer...

It is not the literal past that rules us, save, possibly, in a biological sense. It is the images of the past. These are often as highly structured and selective as myths. Images and symbolic constructs of the past are imprinted, almost in the manner of genetic information, on our sensibility. Each new historical era mirrors itself in the picture and active mythology of its past.- George Steiner, In Bluebeard's Castle (1971)

10/25/06:
The pictures in forwarded emails have begun to reflect the approaching Halloween season- enjoyed this one.

This season of disappointing news appears to have been extended indefinitely. My apologies to the dog to the left for linking him to a "joke" about one of our "leaders" in the news (that most people will find amusing). I think even die-hard conservatives have at least started to wonder what the heck is happening, wonder how it is that supposedly anti-gay people, parties and religions have a hard time recognizing men having sex with under age males as not right... Does anyone know the Biblical passage they are relying on? Can't seem to find it myself, guess the Pope could tell me, probably knows it by heart. Damn those queers, ruining the country.

If those who lead you say to you, 'See, the Kingdom is in the sky,' then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, 'It is in the sea,' then the fish will precede you. Rather, the Kingdom is inside of you, and it is outside of you. When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living Father. But if you will not know yourselves, you dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty.- From "The Complete Jesus", by Ricky Alan Mayotte (All the sayings of Jesus gathered from ancient sources and compiled into a single volume for the first time. Compiled by Ricky Alan Mayotte)

10/23/06:

RETURN
245 Wortman Avenue
East New York, Brooklyn

Forty years ago, I bled in this hallway.
Half-light dimmed the brick
like the angel of public housing.
That night I called and listened at every door:
in 1966, there was a war on television.

Blood leaked on the floor like oil from the engine of me.
Blood rushed through the crack in my scalp;
blood foamed in both hands; blood ruined my shoes.
The boy who fired the can off my head in the street
pumped what blood he could into his fleeing legs.
I banged on every door for help, spreading a plague
of bloody fingerprints all the way home to apartment 14-F.

Forty years later, I stand in the hallway.
The dim angel of public housing is too exhausted
to welcome me. My hand presses
against the door at apartment 14-F
like an octopus stuck to aquarium glass;
blood drums behind my ears.
Listen to every door: there is a war on television.
- Martin Espada, The New Yorker, Setp. 25, 2006

10/21/06:
So, yes, we celebrated our second wedding anniversary Tuesday October 17th- my mom's birthday. My mom's name is Charlotte Ann, yet she has gone by "Chuck" for as long as she can remember. Her grandmother's name was also Charlotte Ann, but she was known as Tanny- the last part of the first name combined with the middle name. Charlotte is the feminine form of Charles and somehow, when she was little, my mom's family decided her name was really Chuck, or Chuckie, and it took. When I saw this Charles Schwab "Talk to Chuck" ad a while back, I had to copy it...

My folks are coming out here next month for a visit. They came last year and we had a really good time, enjoying the wonderful scenery and places to go here. My follks thought about coming earlier in the year, but then had second thoughts when shampoo was banned on airplanes... Now they are set to come November 11th and leave the 17th.

Getting their plane tickets was only the first of two tasks I completed last weekend that left me frazzled- no, actually they demonstrated that I was already frazzled. I checked online for tickets for my parents' travel, researching fares and what their accumulated miles could purchase, determining the best deals and flights. Talking to my mom on the phone, I completed the purchase and was about to print the itinerary when, "shit!", I realized the flights were scheduled to leave Seattle at 12:20AM, instead of PM. Hadn't really planned on midnight flights... In scrambling to see if I could get this changed, I waited on hold forever, only to have the battery of my cordless phone die mid-sentence with the NWA person. As it turned out, I called back and got an even nicer person who changed the flights for me at no extra charge, but after that ordeal I was pooped! The next day, Sunday, I made zucchini bread to take in for a potluck at work the next day. I carefully shredded the huge vegetable, thinking how I would freeze half of it since it would make more than the 2 cups I needed for the recipe. But then I spaced out after finishing the task and coming up with 5 cups. Hmm, I cleverly thought, a little more than I was planning but what could a little more vegetable hurt? I proceeded to put all 5 cups in the recipe, somehow forgetting that half of it was to be frozen... The bread tasted good but was heavy and almost gooey. I was puzzled and wondered if I should have baked the loaf longer. It wasn't until the next afternoon at work that I realized what had happened. So, if you want to make some zucchini bread that turns out kind of like bread pudding, put in 2 1/2 times the amount of zucchini... I think they have been working me too hard at work. Yeah, that's it.

Statistically, the probability of any of us being here is so small that you'd think the mere fact of existing would keep us all in contented dazzlement of surprise.- Lewis Thomas

10/17/06:
This is our second wedding anniversary- can you believe it? In some ways it seems like more than two years ago that we traveled by train to Michigan to get married at my parents' home, on the birthday of both our mothers, in a ceremony performed by my old friend Will Clegg.

A lot has happened in two years, in the intervening 730 days, especially since the two of us are ceaseless putterers. We have fixed up about everything there is to fix up in our home, and now we are preparing to add on to it. We have planted flowers, vegetables and trees. Jay's mother, Verna DeNeui, loved snowball bushes. We now have those flowers to take to the cemetery for her every Mothers Day. It has been long enough for us to have developed our own routines, our own traditions.

It seems like longer ago than two years- maybe three? Yet again, it seems like only yesterday. Wasn't it just a bit ago that I emailed Linda and Terrie begging for help with the preparations, and they so graciously did pitch in? Life is full of fresh memories, sometimes made fresher by an old song, a smell, a view. Those old, fresh memories of the life we have lived make all of it seem so long ago and, at the same time, as if it happened only yesterday. Such is today. Such is today.

Happy anniversary Jay, I wish us many more. Love, Cindy

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age, forever.- Rabindranath Tagore

10/15/06:
FOUR POEMS
I'd like to buy her some toffee
but I don't have a daughter
as I pass a sidewalk store in autumn.
*
Exhausted
the mother has fallen asleep
so her baby is listening all alone
to the sound of the night train.
*
Frog croaking in the flooded paddies-
if there really is a world beyond,
echo far enough so my dead brother can hear.
*
A boat whistles in the night.
For a moment I too long to sail away
but merely pull the blanket up over the kids.
- Ko Un (translated from the Korean by Brother Anthony of Taize, Young-moo Kim, and Gary Gach),
The New Yorker, Sept. 25, 2006

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.- Mahatma Gandhi (1869 - 1948)

~~~~~~

10/15/06, Part 2:

Click the old Tigers' logo for more good Detroit news:
Tigers triumph with a Latin vibe...


The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us, and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone.- George Eliot

10/13/06:
"It's a lot safer than it was when he didn't go the first time."- Ben Barnes, former Texas lieutenant governor, when asked if he had any advice for President Bush as he prepares for his first-ever trip to Vietnam next month.

Lord, these pages of mine go on and on... It is surprising that only from time to time do I question whether something I am thinking about has been written about before. Perhaps I should question this more often, but what the heck!

The Vietnam War really started raging when I was in high school and many of us youngsters were still naive enough to think that any war entered into by our currently elected politicians was just and right. Time changed most of our minds. During my freshman year at Central Michigan University the time came for the male 18 year olds to await the drawing of their draft numbers. Every year the dates for each day of the year were drawn and numerically ordered. If November 12th was the first date drawn and you had just turned 18 last November 12th, you were number one in the draft lottery, the deadliest Lotto around. I remember being in my boyfriend Jack's dorm room as we listened to the results of that lottery. There was a lot of drinking, cheering, crying and puking.

I can't remember for sure what Jack's number was, but it was something like 69 at a time when they were still drafting up to maybe 100. He came from a line of preachers and was actively against the war; it took him much of the next summer to get the materials together for the draft board interview but did get designated as a Conscientious Objector. Luckily he did not have to serve even in that capacity, because the draft wound down and the war ended. It was a terrifying time, one which not all of the people my age made it through alive or in one piece. So, you see, I have nothing against President Bush for having avoided service in Vietnam.

Sometimes we see or experience bad things, and yet when we have the opportunity to do things differently, we do not. When we escape and become powerful ourselves, we sometimes, if we act unconsciously, mimic what we learned that people in power do... Is this a factor in our current foreign policy? Is Bush creating world instability, inciting hatred for our country and going to war so that the current younger generation too will experience the hell he did? Hmm, I doubt it is that simplistic.

Jack wanted to avoid being placed in combat and avoid being involved in killing, in war. Most likely President Bush's motivation to avoid the Vietnam War was different than Jack's. If so, then maybe he took away from the experience different lessons, or maybe he took away none at all.

Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.- Carlos Castaneda

10/9/06:
An Eschatological Laundry List, by Sheldon Kopp
1. This is it!
2. There are no hidden meanings.
3. You can't get there from here, and besides there is no place else to go.
4. We are all already dying, and we will be dead for a long time.
5. Nothing lasts.
6. There is no way of getting all you want.
7. You can't have anything until you let go of it.
8. You only get to keep what you give away.
9. There is no particular reason why you lost out on some things.
10. The world is not necessarily just, being good often does not pay off and there is no compensation for misfortune.
11. You have a responsibility to do your best nonetheless.
12. It is a random universe to which we bring meaning.
13. You don't really control anything.
14. You can't make anyone love you.
15. No one is any stronger or weaker than anyone else.
16. Everyone is, in their own way vulnerable.
17. There are no great people.
18. If you have a hero, look again; You have diminished yourself in some way.
19. Everyone lies, cheats & pretends.
20. All evil is potential vitality in need of transformation.
21. All of you is worth something, if you will only own it.
22. Progress is an illusion.
23. Evil can be displaced but never eradicated, as all solutions breed new problems.
24. Yet it is necessary to keep struggling toward solution.
25. Childhood is a nightmare.
26. But it is very hard to be an on-your-own, take-care-of-yourself-cause there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you grown up.
27. Each of us is ultimately alone.
28. The most important things, each person must do for themselves.
29. Love is not enough, but it sure helps.
30. We have only ourselves, and one another. That may not be much, but that's all there is.
31. How strange, that so often, it all seems worth it.
32. We must live with the ambiguity of partial freedom, partial power and partial knowledge.
33. All important decisions must be made on the basis of insufficient data.
34. Yet we are responsible for everything we do.
35.No excuses will be accepted.
36. You can run, but you can't hide.
37. It is most important to run out of scapegoats.
38. We must learn the power of living with our helplessness.
39. The only victory, lies in surrender to oneself.
40. All of the significant battles are waged within yourself.
41. You are free to do whatever you like. You need only face the consequences.
42. What do you know... for sure... anyway?
43. Learn to forgive yourself, again and again and again and again.

10/8/06:
I mentioned last month that my Grandpa Ellison was a big Detroit Tigers fan- my brother Donnie has inherited this trait. The Tigers are going great-guns this year and, I am happy to report, just finished off my least favorite team, the New York Yankees. I could hear my brother cheering all the way from Michigan last night...

The picture to the left is of my dad, in about 1939 or a little earlier, as he looks about 10? Kid pictures of my dad remind me of my brother when he was young. If you click on my dad's face you will be directed to a picture of my brother on a horse with my Grandpa Jardot's brother, known to us as [Great] Uncle Frenchie.

"I don't know [if they were men or women fans running naked across the field]. They had bags over their heads."- Yogi Berra, a Yankee

10/7/06:
We took a lot of pictures on our outing to Winthrop last weekend, and Jay took a lot of especially nice ones.

Our little fish guy, Slim, was happy to see us when we finally got home. If you click on his picture to the left you will be directed to the first of our pages of trip pictures, should you be interested in this modern version of home movies...

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.- Moses Hadas

10/4/06:
The picture to the left is of my mom and her long-time friend Feleniece Miller, at our wedding reception. My parents have a routine of eating lunch in Charlotte at Walmart's Subway on Mondays and at Pizza Hut on Thursdays. Friends, family and neighbors know this and stop by to have lunch with them. When I visit Michigan we usually make it to at least one of these lunches and there I am able to see people I haven't seen for a while. Feleniece has met us for lunch on such occassions and last time, in April, she brought along her friend Jack for us to meet. We have a wooden box Jack made that my mother gave to us last Christmas, so we were happy to meet its maker.

Jack attended school with Feleniece and they had reconnected in the last two years, enjoying each other's company. Jack struggled with health problems the last few months, but still made it in for lunch once in a while, with help from family and friends. Jack passed away in September, and we send our thoughts to Feleniece. Take care.

From the 9/20/06 Lansing State Journal: "Forell, Jack Henry, 91, retired farmer and former Eaton County commissioner, died Monday, September 18, 2006."

To live in this world, you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your life depends on it; and when the time comes, to let go.- Mary Oliver

10/3/06:
We took a break this last weekend and headed east across the mountains, via the scenic North Cascades Highway, to the little "frontier" town of Winthrop. We stayed in a cabin at River's Edge Resort, which is a hop, skip and jump from the town's main drag. The beautiful drive over and back was enhanced by simply lovely fall weather, despite forecasts of rain. A nice diversion, and nice to be welcomed home by Slim (our fish), in his own, quiet way. If you click on the picture of the hand pointing the way to the North Cascades, it will take you to a lovely picture of Jay sitting in Winthrop... more pictures are on their way. :)

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it.- Patrick Young

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