Loss and Hope...
September Cries Again

DONALD LEWIS BECKER
Donald, age 89, passed away August 31, 2005 in Mount Vernon.

Our neighbor Don passed away. He never stopped being independent and busy. We will miss his fiddling about, the revving of his truck engine and his chats.


"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."- Robert Frost

Cindysworld, 9/15/01: The shock eases, yet remains. The United States of America, the one place that oppressed peoples have counted on to be there, to ultimately have good in its heart, has been threatened. What will the world become if it no longer exists, or its heart changes? Revenge is of no use, the only actions that will keep this from happening again must address the cause, the anger that is in the hearts that take such actions. It is the hearts that must be changed, so that children will never again be taught to rejoice at the news of mass murder. The US must seek to ensure that people everwhere are protected from terrorism and from despots. We must base foreign policy upon our democratic, rather than our capitalistic, values and ideals. The world awaits our wisdom.

Four years ago I did not know what a blog or anything much else on the internet was, but I started playing with its ability to let me put down thoughts and images that were striking to me and share them with whomever was interested. Things were intense that September and so I had lots of thoughts and images scattered about my brain. My friend Craig was fighting the cancer that eventually took this life from him; he encouraged me to continue and to take some classes on writing html. Life has not settled down much since then.

Mom, when do you think this will be over?- Kira Kearney, age 16, 10/13/01

Back in September 2001 I expressed ideas about our country needing to follow its expressed ideals and values, to change our foreign policies so that we encouraged and enriched other countries, so that all could be free- even if freeing them would make us lose access to cheap resources and goods. I said that we should forget about revenge and seek our safety by changing our presence in the world so that others' hearts would feel differently about the world's bully. So much for that bleeding heart liberal crap that is so frequently pointed to as worthy of only derision and smirks.

We went to war against the country of Bin Laden, and branched out from there. Forget about changing the hearts of our pre-9/1/1 enemies, we decided to make even more countries not trust us by ignoring their pleas for sanity. And, to help keep us safe, we enacted laws limiting our own freedom from paranoid suspicions of the government. Our government. In our mightiness, we decided we do not need our national guard at home. Afterall, God is on our side. God apparently loves bullies.

We poured money into the pockets of whatever corporations were friendly with the administration- because this is just and good. We forged our plows into swords, and left our poor to their own resources, because they have as much freedom and opportunity in this great land of ours as the rich do- the poor, unlike the rich, are just stupid, and lazy.

It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important.- Martin Luther King Jr.

The weather has given us a tough time of late. There seem to be hurricanes up the butt, so to speak. Must just be one of those cyclical things- nothing to do with the earth being changed by our search for what we worship most. It took an act of God for our president to meet with poor black folks as if maybe their own lives mattered a bit. An act of God it is called. I wonder if all the people who invoke God's name to justify their mean-spirited actions are paying attention. Maybe God has been speaking to us all along. Maybe God chooses September, when the work of the summer growing season is subsiding, to think about the progress His world's leader has made, the progress the country that puts His name on its most precious thing- its money- has accomplished in His name. Maybe God speaks to us in September.

The world quakes in its boots, awaiting more of our wisdom.

All that is necessary to make this world a better place to live is to love-to love as Christ loved, as Buddha loved.- Isadora Duncan

Jay and I, as I have said before, I think, like to piddle around- in this fashion we keep very busy. We are grateful for each others' presence as we piddle about...

Last month Jay took the ice cube tray out and- oh my! A bit of water in one of the compartments had attempted to leave, but to no avail. Magic had happened in our very own freezer compartment! Jay did his best to capture the elusive marvel with his camera...

The blessings in our lives are abundant, and very good things to place focus upon.

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others."- Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC), 'Pro Plancio', 54 B.C.

It is interesting how we come to take our own skills for granted, not realizing that things we do without thinking twice are things that simply do not occur to others to do, even others in closely-allied professional fields.

I was once asked to assess a man in a nursing home to see if he could be discharged, if there were any resources I could muster to help him return home safely. He was an elderly gentleman, in his late 80s or early 90s, who had been injured in an auto accident and was not bouncing back as well as expected; he wasn't getting up out of bed and this was concerning in terms of sending him home, even though his wife would be there. She was also a nursing home patient. The couple had apparently been getting some help at home but the discharge planner wasn't sure what all that entailed- MSW to the rescue. I decided I would do something daring, something I have learned through my extensive clinical experience to do- I would go ask the wife what kinds of things they were getting help with at home before the accident. In the man's room I met a lovely little older woman (I say "little" because so many older women are shorter than myself, my own not-so-tall stature; when elderly women are taller than I myself I invariably ask them about that experience...). She herself had received injuries in the accident but had recovered fairly well and could easily be discharged home, although her ability to provide care for another, care for her husband, was certainly in question.

I hacked my way through the forest of unknowns, seeking those elusive answers I had been asked to assist with, and chatted with the wonderful lady, finding out that she was a devoted life partner who wanted desperately to return home with her husband. Yes, they had assistance from programs I was familiar with, yes it sounded like they would be alright at home if he could get up, go to the bathroom and get about so that she did not have to physically assist him. She was not aware of concerns about her husband not getting up and out of bed but agreed he needed to do so. I told her I was going to talk with him about this issue and she quickly interjected that he was hard of hearing- yes, I knew this. And he could hardly see, "You need to get up real close to him so he can see your lips moving". Okay, yes, I was used to that, but as she was telling me this last bit I was drawing upon my acquired skills, attempting to mask the alarm that wanted to spread over my face... Excuse me, his eyesight is that bad? Wasn't he the one driving the car when the two of you were injured? The reply was perky and matter-of-fact, "Oh yes, but my eyes are good and I talk loud... I am his eyes for him as he drives." My brain was reeling while one thought kept repeating itself, one simple thought: Oh my.

I checked out with the lovely lady the couple's future driving plans and, indeed, this item had been discussed up front with them and they were considering other options, considering not driving when they got home. Sigh. Okay. I sidled up to the man's bed, got my face close and began my complicated inquiry: How are you doing? That was quite an accident. You're not going to drive anymore, right? They don't want you to go home until you can get up out of bed yourself- they are worried about your wife because she needs to be able to just take care of herself. Why aren't you getting up out of bed? I asked the complex questions I have learned to ask, and with this skill I was able to get to the bottom of things, to find out why he layed there, what he needed to get back to the point that he could go home... He was sweet, pleasant, yes, he wanted to go home. He indeed had been driving, his wife is his eyes, and maybe they would stop driving when they went home, maybe. Oh no, his wife shouldn't physically help him, he did not want her to injure herself. Yes, all the "kind of right" answers were coming from him and as it turned out he only needed a teeny bit of help before he would indeed be ready and safe to return home. He just needed to be told he could get up. "When I came here the nurses told me not to ever, ever, get up without help. I guess they were afraid I would hurt myself, fall or something. So I lie here- I wish they would just let me get up." Hmmm.

The nurse discharge planner thanked me profusely for my clinical assessment, for my clever detective work in figuring out this complex case. Yes, they would tell him he could get up, they would see how he did the rest of the day and overnight and, if he was steady, the couple would go home with some increased help. My master's degree in social work is in administration; sometimes in the past I have wondered about my clinical skills, mostly gained by the seat of my pants. It took me years to trust my own clinical judgements, after multitudes of times having my own second guessed, only later realizing I was right to begin with. Sometimes my inquiries are clever, I think. Most of the time I just ask people questions, and most of the time they just answer.

...perhaps there is a pattern set up in the heavens for one who desires to see it, and having seen it, to find one in himself.- Plato

When I was in high school we took a little quiz on the first day of physics class that to me seemed elemental, while others found the questions complex and masked this by describing the quiz as asking about only stupid, non-useful things. I remember feeling some surprise at their dismissal of such simple questions as if they were obscure or threatening, and I could not fathom it because the questions seemed so straightforward, just simple observations of how things worked. My physics teacher urged me to go into science, physics, and, wise hippie girl that I was, I blew him off.

My dad fixes things. I think I wrote a couple of, maybe three or four, years ago about visiting at my folks' home and the VCR breaking with the tape stuck inside the machine. My sister and dad and I played with that VCR for quite some time, dismantling the front and cover to get at the workings. My mom watched, still pretending after all these years that she was stumped by and uninterested in the workings of things. Kira joined in, matter-of-factly, as if this was just what one does, figures things out. I was struck then by the idea that maybe it was not the norm in all families that the women were interested in fixing things, in figuring out how things work. I can't remember right now the task, but when Kira moved into her little house she told me about something she had fixed and how some friends were amazed at her figuring it out and then fixing it. She also remarked that she needed some tools... I think I told her to steal some from her father, then remarked back to her that she has those fix-it genes from her grandpa, those fix-it genes that will some day be identified on strands of human DNA.

There are lots of men, and lots of women, who take the material world in stride, who find observing it and figuring out how things work to be a simple, natural thing. I like reading about scientists who explore areas of figuring things out that are beyond me. I like to try to understand how things work.

It is funny how describing something, describing how it works, can be so threatening. It is such a very, very weird life, such a very weird world and universe we find ourselves in. And so very complex. It seems only natural to me to try to understand it, to discover how things work and maybe find a glimmer of our purpose here in that process. It seems only natural to me that our lives have purpose, that we are here for a reason. If this is not so, then to me it is still not a waste of time to make our lives have purpose anyway. For me, God is here, God is simply the pure energy that makes up life. It seems to me that studying life, studying the world and its processes, is studying the work of God. It also seems to me that studying and then describing the workings of God accurately indeed shows us not only an intelligent design but a wise design- whether the design is what we were expecting to find or not. I cannot wrap my mind around the idea that science is evil, that describing the workings of God threatens the idea of Him. Science, the study of the workings of our world and universe, threatens, as it always has, preconceived notions of reality and preconceived notions of not only what is but of what should be. To me, approaching God as if one already knows everything, already knows how life is and how the world operates, is the true sacrilege.

Maybe God did forbid us to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge, maybe not. Or maybe God was trying to protect us from the ever so tedious road we started down then, oh so long ago, when Eve picked the apple and was left with the burden and joy of knowledge. It is indeed a long road, a long row to hoe, as man seeks to understand his place here and understand the universe he finds himself in. And in the end, as had been said many times before, when we have finished that task and completed our tedious trip down the road of knowledge, we may yet find ourselves back at the beginning, back where we started, in the company of everything.

"Telling the truth is a pretty hard thing."- Thomas Wolfe

Mary's husband, Ike, recently bought a new car.

Mary had said in passing that they looked at a new Toyota Avalon but did not like it as much as the Avalon she had been comfortably driving for so many miles, so they were not sure what they would do or get, they just knew they wanted a new car to drive longer trips when she retired at the end of November.

One day I was waiting for Mary to arrive at our meeting spot in Mount Vernon and had a stray thought- what if she came in a new car, how would I recognize it? Voila! There she was in, surprise of surprises, a new Chevrolet. Wow! A new car and Ike had let her drive it- what a coop! It was nice, high class, every option- Mary drove Ike's car very, very carefully...

Imagine my surprise when, not too many days later, Mary showed up with, well, with a banged up new car... Seems they were out and about and a goofy man pulled out of a gas station directly into their rear fender. Mary described what had happened over the weekend, and my first exclamation was "Thank goodness Ike was driving." I think every woman who heard the story had the same first thought.

Maybe that reaction is a product of our shared experiences, or genetically programmed, or maybe it just is always good if the man was driving.

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans."- John Lennon

From our back yard:

What is that up in the tree?
It's a bird!


Photos courtesy of Jay Eckert,
Mount Vernon, Washington
August 2005

"You can either have great concentrations of wealth or you can have democracy. You cannot have both."- Supreme Court Justice (1916-1939) Louis Brandeis

Apparently this started three years ago, but I had not heard of it until just now, when Jay brought it to my attention. Some Planned Parenthood offices that were being harassed by picketers started taking pledges based on the number of picketers showing up over a given period of time- getting a bonus when the picketers dragged along their children... In other words, the more picketers who show up, the more money Planned Parenthood gets- the picketers end up supporting Planned Parenthood.

Delicious. Both graphics here link to more information.

Personally, I believe that if abortion is made illegal then all males should be required to submit DNA samples that would be used to match up new babies with their fathers. Those men matched as new fathers would then have their wages garnished for the next 22 years, or until the child graduates from college, to the tune of at least $1000 per month per child (adjusted annually for inflation). Women do not make babies by themselves, but our society finds it perfectly acceptable for them to bear the burden of raising children alone if the father bows out of the picture, and begrudges them any piddling assistance provided by "big government". In fact, I don't think men should even be allowed to vote on, or voice any opinion about, abortion- so there.

Ah, now I feel better...

"Life is a sexually transmitted disease."- R. D. Laing

So, a very interesting day today, full of the unexpected, the wonder of life. I spent today building others' self esteem, social worker that I am, helping others realize how "together" they are.

Mary and I just finished a taxing inspection, completing it in two instead of three days, and returned to the office today. We were victorious, but pooped. It was difficult getting out of bed today, and once I got going I had to hurry along to get my butt out of the house and down the road. Imagine my surprise as I stepped out of my car (2003 Grand Am- a car that ended up with me and me with it by chance...) and caught a glimpse of my very own feet. Well, you can get an idea of what I'm talking about by looking at the photo to the left. Wow man, is she freaked out or what?

Barbara, who is in the cubicle next to mine, exploded in laughter once I made it in the building and proudly showed off my daring fashion sense. She encouraged me to run to the store and purchase some flip-flops, if not some full fledged shoes. The gathering crowd enjoyed the view... It was interesting to see who noticed my shoes, both in the office and at the two grocery stores and the exercise club I went to today- virtually no one, to be exact. Interesting. Oh well, those many, many people who had my shoes pointed out to them enjoyed what appeared to be a hearty laugh and a sense of shared humanity.

Weird, interesting, and, well, weird. Hard to believe.

"Let no one be deluded that a knowledge of the path can substitute for putting one foot in front of the other."- M. C. Richards

"They're responsible for this big structural deficit, and they're not going away, the deficits aren't. Now, what Americans need to understand is that that means every single day of the year, our Government goes into the market and borrows money from other countries to finance Iraq, Afghanistan, Katrina, and our tax cuts. We have never done this before. Never in the history of our republic have we ever financed a conflict, military conflict, by borrowing money from somewhere else."

This quote from an interview with Bill Clinton on 'This Week with George Stephanopoulos' clearly states concerns I have had for some time now. I find it more than amazing that people listen to fairy tales told by politicians as if what they say springs from a desire to help our country and its citizens, us, rather than from crass personal and political desire for gains for themselves and people they consider to be their peers. The money the United States spends in excess of its income does not come from the tooth fairy, it doesn't even just go on some really big bank credit card. It is real debt, real debt that makes us indebted to others.

I recently read an article about some researchers who discovered that "popular" junior and senior high school kids really aren't well-liked but play a game of bad-mouthing/gossip and exclusion to set themselves up as superior to others not in their group. Yes, no big news there, except it seems to me that behavior never stops. Politicians love to prey upon those same emotions, splitting American citizens, dividing them into camps by throwing out labels and ideas with a smirk, playing the same game of bad-mouthing/gossip and exclusion.

Politicians' motivation is often very different than what the listener presumes, because the listener presumes the speaker is well-meaning and looking out for the "common guy". What the words really mean can be shocking, once the words are turned into policy. Sometimes politicians who are against taxing and spending are only against certain kinds of taxing and spending. They are against taxes that lean heavily upon people with very large incomes and businesses with very large incomes, because those people deserve to keep their hard earned money. They are against social programs because those programs help people who are lazy, whose sin is that they weren't born rich- kind of like how women are born in sin because they were not born men. They are also against safety programs, even if those programs were not beaurocratically administered, because they cost money and saving workers from maiming and death is not a good use of money. They are not against piling up huge national debts- how exactly is this fiscal conservatism? That's the catch. They just have to say they are fiscally conservative and smirk, they don't have to act fiscally conservative.

The national television coverage of hurricane Katrina did not invent victims of our public policies, it simply exposed to the world what our policies have wrought. It is not rocket science. Our current policies have gutted taxes for the wealthiest, most deserving, of our population- individuals and companies alike. The trickle down economics of recent Republican adminstrations means just what it says- if the rich are allowed to amass great gobs of money, some will trickle down to the masses- the masses of working people like you and I, and the masses of working, minimum wage poor who work more hours, make less and have no health insurance. This is our national policy and agenda. This is what the American people voted for.

Would those of you in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.- John Lennon

A while back I wrote about reading a lengthy Teddy Roosevelt biography and then listening to a second volume on CD in my car. It was interesting. The politics were strikingly similar to those found today, with greedy politicians saying one thing, doing another, and lining their pockets. Teddy was born into a family of wealth and had very strong opinions, but some of his opinions changed with exposure to new information and ideas- like when he was exposed to the working poor, working for practically nothing in abhorent conditions. He developed an idea that he owed something back to the country that allowed his family and himself to prosper. In his 1906 State of the Union address, Republican President Theodore Roosevelt proposed the creation of a federal inheritance tax: "The man of great wealth owes a peculiar obligation to the State because he derives special advantages from the mere existence of government." Such taxation should "be aimed merely at the inheritance or transmission in their entirety of those fortunes swollen beyond all healthy limits".

Bootstrap sagas and "great man" theories reflect deep strains of American self-perception, but a countervailing view of wealth also claims roots in this country's history. In response to the dramatically unequal distribution of wealth in the first Gilded Age, Andrew Carnegie wrote The Gospel of Wealth, which proposed to address these disparities through steep inheritance taxes and aggressive charitable giving.

Catch a clue, man. Eliminating the inheritance tax effects no one you know, it effects everyone Bush knows. By the way, does anyone remember if, when they passed those laws making it harder for individuals to go into bankruptcy, they included any limits on businesses going into bankruptcy? How 'bout limits on businesses raiding retirement funds and leaving the government- you- to make good on the funds? No? Didn't think so.

This weekend, Saturday, was Rexville Grocery's annual Oktoberfest celebration. The weather was beautiful, the "oompah" band in high form, the German beer heady, and the kraut krauty. Mmm- lots of mustard please!

Jay ate the potato salad, I had the "hamdog" sausage on a roll with kraut and mustard, and we both had German Spaten beer (Jay had the dark Oktoberfest, I stuck with the lighter Pils). All was good as we listened to the band play polka and Louis Armstrong pieces (apparently the Germans love Satchmo), ate, and watched couples dance. The couple that danced the most just celebrated their 56th wedding anniversary.

We had a good time, and decided that the Germans have very strong beer, since we felt blasted after one... We recommend stopping by Rexville anytime and checking out their very interesting shelves.

I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches.- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

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